Top 3 tips to help your child manage strong emotions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When your child becomes overwhelmed with their feelings, as parents we can feel lost about what to do. We don't want our children to suffer so our instinct is to do what we can to make the pain go away. But what do we actually need to do? What really works? How do we help our children learn to look after their feelings? 

Just because we are the grown ups does not mean that we naturally know what to do.  We all need a few guide posts to show us the way through the moment where feelings can get really big.  Here are some easy to refer to tips to help YOU to help your child learn one of lives most important lessons - how to look after themselves when their feelings are very heavy and overwhelming. 

TOP 3 TIPS to support your child to manage strong emotions;

1. Give your child a clear message that feeling angry/sad, confused/ hurt/ lost/ is OK. You can say, “Its ok to feel sad. Your feelings are understandable.". Say these simple words both in the moment and after the intense emotion has passed. 

2. Find an easy way that suits your child to return to a calm place. There are many ways you can help your child including;

  • holding them
  • soothing them with soft words
  • speaking clearly and calmly
  • walking outside
  • sitting in their room
  • having a bath or shower

When your child is feeling relaxed and calm sit down with them, get out the coloured markers and brainstorm all the possible ways they can help their body to calm down. This way, you will have a plan id ideas to try when their emotions are running high again.  

3. Once they have helped their mind and body calm down and move through the heavy feelings; its is important to gently praise your child ability to look after their feelings. A simple statement of, "Look you can feel really heavy feelings, look after yourself and then you can feel ok again." can go along way to teach your child that they have the power to understand their feelings, have inner resources to take care of themselves in the moment and then come out the other side and be ok again. 

As you take your child through these steps you are teaching them how to be truly resilient. They will learn through their own experience that they have the power to look after themselves when they feel emotional pain. This helps them to be not afraid of getting hurt by others and builds a self esteem and inner knowing that that they can truly take care of themselves. A great life lesson indeed. 

Parents, Editor's picksKatrina Cavanough